During the Vancouver 2010 Olympics Opening Ceremonies, they aired this fantastic Coke Commercial.
Happy Canada Day! June 30, 2009
Canada is my country. This is my flag. I bleed red, baby!
Happy Canada Day! Hug a Canadian July 1st!
And while we’re on the topic, just to clear up any confusion…
The Difference Between Cats and Dogs May 20, 2009
Happened upon this hysterical difference between cats and dogs today. If you have ever had a cat or a dog in the past, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it!
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
And that’s the difference between cats and dogs. 🙂
Get Out of the Car! April 7, 2009
Note: thanks to Women of Caliber for sharing this awesome post!
(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida)
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried, and then she realised why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.
The seargent to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.
He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
The moral of the story? If you’re going to have a senior moment… make it memorable.
Quote of the Day – Tim March 28, 2009
During youth conference last summer, we went to a pioneer village outside of Logan, UT to learn more about the pioneer lifestyle. At one of the stops, a lady dressed in pioneer garb showed us how to make cheese and said:
Pioneer men married women based on their cooking skills – NOT on their looks.
Last night as we were standing in line at the Lion House Restaurant on Temple Square, Brigham Young’s home, surrounded by pioneer memorabilia, Tim remembered her comment and said:
That’s what ugly people say. I don’t care what century you live in, you know when a woman looks good! I don’t buy it cuz I didn’t buy it!
Yep, when we got married, I couldn’t really cook. Case in point 🙂